Paper Boat & Silly Songs

Batu -- Malang, East Java We are spending a very needed weekend getaway. It still pinches me here and there, knowing that this time my father isn't here with us. Funny how human brain works. Every little thing has the power bring back the memory of someone and moments you used to spend with him or her. Even a dirty ditch reminds me of how my father has taught me to make paper boats and let them float with the stream. Then I get back to my room, dying for a deep sleep. It's been a long day. It's been a long week. It's been too long, period. Then I hear some noises from neighbouring rooms. Great! Kids. Lots of them (read: more than one of them), singing on top of their lungs. At 8.30 p.m.!!! So much for a deep sleep.... Then the memory game starts again. Those kids and their dad are singing silly songs together. You know, those things you do to kill time when you are with the little ones. Oh, those kids might have absolutely no idea whatsoever regarding how lucky they are. To have a dad who probably has fought the traffic to get to this hotel. To have a mom who has made sure they are well fed and washed before they go to bed. To create a memory together with their siblings. To be able to spend time with each other without spending top dollars. To have each person's undivided attention, even for just a few minutes.... I guess, sadly, it's true what they say: You never know what you've got until you lose 'em.... The singing voice have died down. I guess those kids are tucked to bed already. It's quite late at night. So I listen to the frogs croacking in the paddy fields. Serenading their loved ones, singing their own version of love songs. It is a beautiful night. It is a beautiful life. And I choose to cherish it.

Plastic Beads

I am sitting at the public hospital, waiting for my turn at the doctor's office. It's always fascinating for me to do people-watching. I get to see how people talk, dress, act, and do while waiting. On my right-hand-side are an elderly couple. Judging from their look, I can tell they are people who can't afford a private-practice specialist. The gentleman on my left is quite the opposite. He's busy with his gadget--just like what I'm doing right now. Then I hear something popped, and I see a bead rolling gently on the floor, finding its way around my feet, straight to the front. Apparently the elderly lady is wearing an inexpensive plastic necklace. Probably she's been fidgeting on it, while anxiously waiting or her turn to see the doctor. Could she suffer from a chronic disease? Is she waiting for the news after a lab test? Are they worrying about not being able to earn their income this morning due to this long waitng line? Anyway, they are frantically gathering the beads on the floor. The guy-with-cool-gadget only points to the floor, saying, "There's one more, right there!" He doesn't even bother to move his butts to lend a hand. Yeah, sure. You're doing the noble-class thing. Just scream and yell and point to the floor. I get off my seat, pick it up, and hand it to the lady. The gentleman (I'm guessing he's her husband), thanks me profusely, just for picking up one single cheap plastic bead as if I have just saved their lives from a trainwreck. He then gives the bead to the lady, who still looks confused. It's very interesting for me to see different attitudes and reactions here. There's this man, looking healthy and wealthy, who doesn't give a damn to move a muscle in order to help. And there's this old man, with worn-out clothes, looking tired, who acts so very tenderly to his lady. It doesn't matter to me who the lady is to him. They can be perfect strangers, but I am deeply moved by the way he treats her, looks at her, sits protectively by her side, and speaks gently to herI immediately say a silent prayer. That in His time, God will let me have a husband who treats me like a lady, even when I only can afford to wear something stupid like cheap plastic necklace. I'd respect such a man, who in a split-second shows his respect and love to others regardless what they look like. And bless the young man-with-cool-gadget. He's still busy downloading songs on his tablet, and he makes sure everyone -- I mean, everyone -- can hear the song....

Eulogy for Papa

Papa lahir dengan nama Tan Thiam Bing di Cilacap, 5 Juni 1946. Papa saya orang desa, dekat dengan alam. Dari Papa saya belajar mengenali pohon buah dari bentuk batang & daunnya. Dari Papa saya belajar navigasi, agar tdk tersesat di mana pun saya berada. Dari Papa saya belajar parkir mobil untuk mundur. Papa pekerja keras. Saya mengagumi keuletan, ketekunan, kegigihan Papa untuk bekerja. Papa juga begitu ingin menyenangkan keluarganya, sampai-sampai Papa rela membawa pulang jatah konsumsi untuk kami di rumah. Papa selalu berusaha menawarkan makanan yang dianggapnya paling enak untuk kami; padahal saya tahu, sebenarnya itu yang paling disukainya. Papa paling kerasan bila berada di laut. Esok pagi kami akan melarung abunya di laut, agar dia bisa kembali bersatu dengan lautan yang begitu dicintainya. Kami akan selalu bisa menyapa Papa dalam buih ombak. Karena Papa suka memancing di laut, saya belajar menghargai cahaya di kegelapan, karena bila ada orang di daratan menyalakan lampu, kapal yang ditumpanginya saya yakin lebih aman, pasti bisa kembali dengan selamat. Karena ada cahaya untuk memandu. Dari Papa saya belajar arti kata kesederhanaan yang sesungguhnya. Selera makannya sangat sederhana: dengan sayur & ikan pun Papa sudah menikmati. Papa melayani dengan sederhana, tanpa gengsi. Papa mengampuni dengan sederhana. Bahkan kepada orang yang telah melanggar haknya, Papa lebih dulu meminta maaf. Perginya pun sangat sederhana: di tempat tidurnya sendiri dalam damai, masih dalam baju tidurnya. Sampai-sampai beberapa orang, bahkan yang belum kenal Papa, waktu mendengar hal ini bisa berkata: hanya orang berhati baik yang diizinkan Tuhan untuk berpulang dengan cara seperti ini. Iman Papa pada Tuhan Yesus pun sederhana: bahwa Tuhan sudah begitu mengasihinya. Pada waktu saya memilih lagu-lagu yang kita nyanyikan bersama hari ini, saya ingat ada sebuah lagu yg sangat disukai Papa. Lagu ini menggambarkan kemurahan Tuhan atas hidupnya, bagaimana Tuhan sudah mengangkat Papa dari sebuah desa di tepi laut ke tempat yang lebih tinggi, yaitu dekat dengan hati Tuhan Yesus. Lagu ini menggambarkan rasa syukur Papa pada Penciptanya. Papa di mata saya adalah pelayan Tuhan, murid & anak Tuhan yg sejati. Saya yakin kalau saya mau tuliskan bagaimana Papa sudah memberi teladan kehidupan pada semua sanak saudara & teman serta kenalan, bisa diterbitkan buku yang tebal. Kami sekeluarga begitu tersentuh oleh ucapan belasungkawa serta penghiburan dari begitu banyak orang. Berarti, Papa sudah menjadikan lebih banyak orang merasakan kasih & perhatiannya yang tulus. Terima kasih banyak kepada Pdt. Lim Supianto yang berkenan melayani serta memimpin rangkaian ibadah hari ini. Terima kasih kepada Pdt. Joutje Tairas, Ibu Marijke, serta keluarga besar GBI Imanuel & GKA Gloria. Terima kasih pada para karyawan yg begitu setia & berbakti. Kalian semua tak lain juga sudah dianggap anak-anak sendiri oleh Papa. Terima kasih pada kerabat serta teman-teman yang sudah meluangkan waktu untuk mendukung kami dalam doa maupun bantuan lainnya, baik secara moral maupun material. Sehingga kami tidak merasa sendirian dalam melewati kesedihan ini. Biar hanya Bapa di Surga yang akan memberkati Bapak & Ibu sekalian, yang tidak sanggup kami sebutkan satu-persatu. Bila ada kata atau perbuatan yang menyinggung, atas nama Papa & keluarga saya minta maaf sebesar-besarnya. Kami sekeluarga percaya bahwa Papa saat ini sudah ada di Surga bersama Tuhan Yesus, keluarganya, teman-teman sekampungnya, dan semua orang percaya yang sudah lebih dahulu ada di sana. Tiada lagi rasa sakit & air mata. Dan kita akan bertemu lagi di hari yang indah nanti. Ada sebuah lagu cinta, yang saya rasa liriknya sungguh tepat untuk menggambarkan cinta saya pada Papa: I see Jesus in your eyes, and it makes me love you. I can feel Jesus in your touch, and I know He cares. I hear Jesus in your voice, and it makes me listen. And I trust you with my love because you are His. I see Him. I see Him in you.